The creative process presents: You’re shit
A blank page.
I promised to write a blog post about the creative low point, and oh the irony: this blank page is now just staring at me. Why did I say I could do this? Why would I do such a masochistic thing to myself? I can’t write. I haven’t written anything since high school, why did I think I could do it now?
This is one of the thousands of times that I’ve felt anything but creative. When I’ve just wanted to bury my head in a sofa cushion and quickly apply for a job at the closest fast-food restaurant. You want fries with that?
I could do that.
Not having to be creative at all, imagine that. It’s like being a comedian and everyone expects you to be funny all the time. Ugh, a nightmare. And here I am, again. The self-doubt, the imposter syndrome. Now they’ll find out how bad I am. Now they’ll laugh at me.
Working as a creative is just like riding a rollercoaster. The excitement of climbing uphill, and the thrill of being on the top! And then the terror, the sheer terror of just plunging down. Zooming downhill at like a thousand kilometres an hour, I can feel it in my stomach right now. Just screaming! Screaming at myself for putting myself in this situation. But screaming on the inside of course (I’m a Finn after all).
But then, after the horrible downhill of “this is shit” and “I am shit”, I reach the bottom of the valley. And the cart is starting to slowly go uphill again. Like, maybe I’m not really that shit? Maybe I could do this. It’s just words on paper? How hard can it be? Just one word after the other. Letter after letter. Letters become words and words become sentences. And then, after already five paragraphs of text I’ve actually written something.
Ah, yeah this is it. This feeling. Now I remember, this is why I do this. The high of coming up with that one great idea. This is the greatest feeling in the world. Like a cold beer on a sunny Saturday afternoon. In Cannes. With 5 gold lions in your pocket. Ahhhhh…
Wait where was I? Oh yeah, the creative low. Nah. It’s not that bad. Let’s do this again tomorrow!
Mya Rydman, Senior Creative